Dealing with Depression

As many of my friends and family are aware, I suffer from depression. It is ironic how many people will give advice or put in their two cents on the topic. I have had people tell me just don't dwell on things so much I have been told to suck it up and move on and that I just need to have a more positive attitude and outlook. All of those people were speaking in ignorance on the subject. Anyone who knows anything about depression understands that you can be suffering from depression and not even realize that is what is going on. It has nothing to do with conscious thoughts or what a person dies or does not do each day. Depression is a slow growing bacteria that starts in one place and slowly moves its way around affecting other things. It may begin with a person not being motivated and not having energy. It can then move on to affect sleep patterns and eating habits and hygiene routines and even the way you treat others around you. Recognizing depression within yourself is not always possible. I have never been able to recognize when my depression has gotten bad and I need treatment. It has always had to be pointed out to me by close loved ones and people who know me really well. When a person is in a situation like that and they don't even recognize that is what is happening, how can other's expect them to have the awareness to fix it? When depression makes you feel like you just don't care, why would you care about trying to just suck it up and deal with it or trying to have a better attitude and outlook? The person doesn't care! They have no interest in anything and no motivation or concern to do anything different. When you are the one stuck within this maddening cycle it is often something going on subconsciously.
Often times medication is necessary to correct the dysfunction in the brain and to retrain it.
Aside from that everyone has someone or something they love and care about. For me it is my children. When you try to focus on the things you love and try each day to find just one thing you can be thankful for, slowly things seem to look a little more positive. Even if you are just thankful that you have food in your belly that day or that we have beautiful sunsets to look at. Any one thing is all you need. As for me, I am interested in healing my wounds and scars and leaving the depression in my past. I am Taking a step here and a step there to try to change the place I am in. I just happen to be lucky enough to have a supportive understanding husband and empathetic children who all care and love me.
Heavenly Father I just pray for those who are broken in mind, body or spirit and I pray that you lift them up and carry them through the dark valleys and nudge them more and more each day toward your loving light. Lord sometimes the things of this world can weigh us down so heavily and even for those who know you and follow you it can be a challenge at times to lean on you and to have hope or faith. Father I pray you reveal yourself in an unmistakeable manner so your children know you are with them loving them each step of the way. Let each person feel just the beginnings of the stirring of the peace your presence has to offer. Restore in us that which was lost or broken and give us the strength to get through another day. Lift us into your loving arms and let us look into the eyes of the one who made us and know what you see in us.
In Jesus's name...
Amen!

I am a daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, a Christian, a volunteer, an activist, a humanitarian, a sinner and a survivor. I am struggling with Depression, PTSD, Anxiety and chronic physical pain. I want out of life what most people want: Peace, love, joy and good health.
I am truly as screwed up as  person can be. I'm certain there are people out there worse off than me and this isn't a pity party. It is a journey of self discovery through life experiences. This is a day in the mind of a person struggling with mental health issues. This is the good the bad the ugly and the bare naked truth as I see it.
Today how I see it is that people are difficult to deal with and some of them really suck.
I feel broken, forgotten, unimportant and alone. Not good for a depressed person to have these types of days. Regardless it is a part of life and things happen out of our control. So I will lift my voice up to God in prayer.
Lord, Father, please be with me right now as I struggle. Please lift me up and fill me up with your Holy Spirit. Speak to me as you wrap me in your comforting embrace. Whisper into my ear your instructions to guide me. See my sorrow and replace it with Joy. See my pain and replace it with peace. Fill the holes in my heart. For now, I will be still and rest in you. Thank you for loving me as I am so undeserving and imperfect. Please guide my path according to your will. In Jesus's name I pray. Amen.